IN ENGLISH...
Well I've been practicing my english for a while now. And writing about it is stupid, but nobody reads these shit I write so fuck it.
I was going to write about love... Again... just like what I wrote last month... and the month after that.
<So what makes it different this time?>
I dunno, It's written in English?
<well... some words are best spoken in English and some words are also best explained in Tagalog, so Goodluck with that.>
Let's get back on the topic... so what about love?
SINGLENESS
What the fuck is the essence of being single?
I mean, it sucks... and most single people are afraid to admit that being fucking single sucks. They always have this excuse of how happy being single is, like
“I am reserving myself for that special someone” <does that mean, every other girl who has a BF earlier than them did not reserve themselves?>
“My hororscope says it's not my year to have a relationship” <see, epic watery rice crap>
“I don't wanna get married!” <epic watery rice crap part II>
“I'm way to busy with work” <the reason you'll never find a partner>
“I'm not gonna meet my husband at a bar!” <you won't find anybody if you always limit yourself to relationships you could have tried atleast>
“I hate valentines day” <well obviously>
“I hate love” <crap>
“you won't understand... you have a boyfriend” < actually they do>
“I'm just too picky” <precisely>
“I could date her if I wanted to” <truth is you wanted to but you can't>
“Guys are really intimidated around me” <why not find out why?>
and the most shit they say about being single is... <drumroll>
“I like being single”
why???
huwaaaaaaaay!!??
maybe for a day, they could say thay... or a week or two, I dunno, I can't really understand love and it's addictive stupidity that is contagious on people.
Don't get me wrong, I am not ,unhappy about being single.
<1st stage of Grief... Denial>
Fuck you subconscious...
<oh that was fast... 2nd stage of Grief... Anger>
I wasn't... ughhh! Bitch ass.. I was not angry, now I am you madafaka!
<tell me more about it...>
well I am just writing this turdface blog because... I really do miss falling inlove
I miss holding hands without saying a word... but still feel like that was the best conversation you ever had.
I miss the stupid conversations and almost routinary questions and greeting everyday like... “Goodmorning” , “Goodnight!” , “Kumain ka na?” , “nu na gwa mo?” … I miss it just because my phone literally became a flashlight... it lost its function to receive and send texts and calls... so it is just a friggn flashlight... I miss those times when my phone rings and it wont be promo texts that says they'll eat my load like a munchkin flavored crispy pata...
I miss eating in restaurants with a date... coz I really hate eating alone in fastfoods... or ordering a BFF bundle and eating it alone... <joke, I actually like eating it alone... >
I miss the insomnia I get from making “suyo” … even though I know it's their fault... blaming everything on their red effin flag... I actually miss it... I dunno why either... maybe because I hate having to deal with my own moodswings... everyday
I miss the heartaches and smiles I get from a relationship...
<so why not have one? >
that's a crappy question...
<just answer madafaka>
I think I'm not ready... I want to think that I am not... but I am... I want to have a relationship... but I want it to be with someone I might never have... and that bums me out... thinking about that perfect person makes me look at other girls and tell myself why they are not her... <subconsiously really.. and realize what I was doing maybe after 2 hours> I am inlove... and it's the cliche'd kind of love, most people say it is called the “onesided” kind of love. But I don't really care about that...
<so... why haven't you done anything to get that girl?>
like I said... I'm not ready... I like to think that I am not ready... based on my past relationships... I tend to make very bad decisions at the most epicly bad timing. Stupid life changing road path awakenings that happens only once in a lifetime … I wave my goodbyes on those opportunities... me being in a relationship doesn't set me back with those decisions... I set myself back... I don't know why , but I tend to fuck up things that I really love... maybe not now, but sooner or later it will come... and I don;t think girls wont be ready when that happens again...
<watery rice crap part III>
Fuck you subconscious...
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